My college band director had a large ego, an iconic style of conducting, and a loud opinion. He had a PhD, so we referred to him as “Doc.” (We addressed him as Doctor so-and-so.) Here’s a story we liked to tell.

A trumpet player died and went to heaven. St. Peter was showing him around. Off in the distance, they saw a figure conducting erratically, and shouting, “You’re horrible! Play BETTER.”

“Who’s that?” asked the trumpet player.

“That’s just God. He thinks he’s Doc,” said St. Peter.